Why I Don’t Own a Boat

My wife tells me not to tell this story.

It’s embarrassing, but I’ve always had a sense of humor about my mistakes, so I’m going to tell it anyway. It also helps explain why, in my quest to catch 100 different fish species, I do most—if not all—of my fishing from shore.

This happened a long time ago, in 2001. I was about 42 years old, and my son was 11. Within the previous year, I had purchased a new Ford F-150 pickup and a new boat, an 18-foot Rinker ski boat. I asked my son if he wanted to spend a weekend fishing in the Brainerd Lakes area of Minnesota.

He said yes, so we packed up and headed north. I think we stayed in a hotel on Friday night and planned to return home Saturday evening. I can’t remember the exact lake. There are so many beautiful lakes in that area, and after 25 years they all tend to blend together.

We launched the boat and spent most of the day fishing. Unfortunately, the fish were not cooperating. By mid-afternoon we had not had a single bite and decided to call it a day.

That decision turned out to be the easy part. The boat ramp was extremely steep. As I started pulling the boat out of the water, I heard a scraping sound. From the boat, my son immediately started yelling: “Dad! Stop! Stop! Stop!” I instantly realized my mistake. I had forgotten to trim the outboard motor up before pulling the boat out. I put the truck in park, got out, and went back to the boat to raise the motor. Unfortunately, instead of trimming the motor up, I somehow trimmed it down. That was all it took. The truck’s parking mechanism disengaged, and in an instant the truck began rolling backward down the steep boat ramp toward the lake. I jumped off the boat and made a desperate attempt to get back into the cab and put the truck in park. I didn’t make it. Instead, I fell hard onto the concrete ramp. Fortunately, I missed going under the wheels. Had things been only slightly different, this story might not be getting written. I injured my arm badly in the fall while the truck continued its journey into the lake. The truck ended up window‑deep in the water. Once water gets into the circuitry, the insurance company considers the vehicle totaled, and that’s exactly what happened. The boat sustained damage as well, although it was eventually repaired.

If there is anything funny about the story, it was what we found when we finally opened the driver’s door. About seven sunfish had somehow made their way into the cab of the truck. Those were the only fish we caught all day.

Because of my arm injury, an EMT was called. One of the EMTs was extraordinarily kind and put us up for the night since finding a hotel on short notice would have been difficult.

The whole experience was stressful at the time, but it has become one of those stories that gets funnier with each passing year.

What may surprise you is that I kept the boat for another five years. During that time, I had many enjoyable fishing and water-skiing adventures with both my son and daughter. Eventually, however, we sold it. That reminds me of the old saying that the two best days of a boat owner’s life are the day he buys the boat and the day he sells it.

Now that I’m 67 years old and even less confident in my boating abilities than I was at 42, I’ve decided that shore fishing suits me just fine. I don’t miss launching boats, loading boats, maintaining boats, insuring boats, or writing checks for new boats. I’ve also discovered that rivers often hold a greater variety of fish species than lakes, which is ideal for someone trying to reach 100 species.

That’s not to say I’ll never fish from a boat again. If a particular species requires one, I’ll gladly hire a guide or rent a boat.

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